I talk about Gravity quite often but not all Gravity pulls the same. It is not always so intense that I know exactly what it means and sometimes it takes me by surprise.
I remember the day I met Gui and the ping in my chest. It was dulled from all the alcohol but strong enough that I let him convince me to reverse-cinderella myself, get out of my PJs to go out dancing. I'm glad I did.
There are these nights that stay forever with us, highs we want to relive. Recently, a lot of my highs have been with Gui, even though I have been living on rock bottom.
It's hard to make friends when you are at your lowest. Gui acknowledges my low and drags me on adventure like I am Eeyor. Even though I am heavy and dark is constantly causing ruminations in my brain, I can smile and laugh and for moments I am happier than I am heavy.
Gui has this beautiful perception of the world that it is like the movies. He identified that I am in fact the main character in one of the most famous Christmas songs ever. You know the one about "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away". I think it is tragic but he believes it is amazing. Even if it is tragic there is always hope; something beautiful. You just have to catch the right angle, the right filter. One year I flew to England for a boy who threw my heart out and this year maybe I'll find the person who wants to keep it. Isn't that beautiful?
Right now, Gui is keeping my heart warm and looked after; helping me heal the wounds of those who couldn't see my worth. He brought me into a home that is filled with laughter and love. I am so grateful to be an unofficial housemate at Bayfield. I look forward to more nights of dancing barefoot, nearly breaking his VR set (and myself) on furniture and being his plus 2 because he never goes anywhere without an entourage.
Anyone that is lucky enough to have a fantastical friend like Gui is lucky because their life will always be full of adventure and laughter, even in the midst of tragedy.
That is why I keep living. Because I am loved. Because I love him too much to let him live a life without me.
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