I remember the first night I met her. Calm Confidence and a kind smile. She looked like a living Snapchat filter, no catfish here. After several hours of sharing stories, I was glad she wanted to be my friend, even when I was at my worst.
I can not pinpoint the exact moment I connected to her only the way it snuck up on me and took me by surprise. One moment she was proudly showing off all that she had built but all I could think about was kissing her. The next we were watching movies like we previously had and I was shaking with the desire to memorize all her scars and tattoos and the history they hold.
The connection was so intense, I panicked and fled. When I finally accepted that it happened, there was someone else sleeping in her bed.
And this was the lesson: While connections are few and far between and feel like gravity pulling me home, it does not always need to be acted on.
She is happier with someone else. Speaking up would leave me open to harm. So I will swallow all the love letters on my tongue and save them for someone who chooses me to give all their time and affection. I am still glad she wanted to be friends.
Our feelings are real and valid, however, not all feelings need to be acted on. The best response is to accept that this is unrequited love and move on. This is the art of letting go.
Kommentare