"Why do you still trust people?"
Maybe shouldn't. Maybe that was what I was supposed to learn from her. To my face, she would tell me we are all good and she's just dealing with her own things, but behind my back what did she say (I will never know and that is okay).
I trust because I run on a kindness principle. I trust because I will not let the world turn me cold, because jaded doesn't look good on me.
There is hope in me and it is defiant as fuck.
For all the bad things that have been done to me, I will take the lesson to amplify it.
All my mistakes are not failures but lessons in how to move forward better. There are so many situations that school and peers can not prepare you for. In that moment you have no idea what could go wrong or right but as long as you act in kindness or love you should have no regrets.
Whenever I have the opportunity to provide comfort or support to a person I will give it because I know what it is like to barely be existing and not have anyone to comfort you. I know that all feelings, pains and traumas have to be sat with. Sometimes these feeling, pains, and traumas are so big and scary, having someone there to sit with you makes the difference. No advice or conversation, just comfort, being held, reminded you are worthy of love.
So do I let one woman who was not fully transparent with me turn me cold? Do I let go of my values because one person mistook my kindness?
No. More people will come and some will be the same and some will genuinely need love and kindness. Everyone deserves kindness and love.
The hope in me tells me that I did the best I can. That I acted out of kindness and love and that is in line with my values.
What are your values? Are living by them or leaving them on the sidelines? How do you treat others?
What would your life look like if you were living perfectly in line with your values?
"Love is the only rational act." - Morrie Schwartz
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