I've been thinking a lot about purpose lately. Mainly because I have finally found a job (Don't even get me started on how much I love my job, I could write a whole book on it) that makes me feel that I am fulfilling my purpose but also because my Aunt has really been pushing God on me. I met her half way by listening to some recorded sermons about the 7 rules of life (there's only been three posted thus far). The first rule is Never Forget Your Purpose and he's not wrong. Knowing and living your purpose is detrimental to well-being, to having a higher level of satisfaction with life. Your purpose will not make you immune to depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses but it will make you resilient when they pop up.
What I struggled with is that his whole point was that God gives us purpose and by not living a godly life you are not living your purpose. How can we all only be limited to a godly life? There are so many needs and roles to be filled, what does God have to do with them? How does God make you immune to mental health conditions?
There are two kinds of people in this world (There are actually infinite kinds of people because there are so many variants, but on this scale there are only two): Intrinsically motivated and extrinsically motivated people. For extrinsically motivated people, God (an external motivator) is a perfectly rational explanation to their purpose. They struggle to self-motivate and need external factors to drive their behaviors. This is perfectly normal and healthy for these kinds of people to develop a sense of self. Other external motivators are other forms of religion, money, rewards, punishments, parents/ caregivers, peers you want to impress and so on.
I have always felt conflict with organized religions that dictate how one should live, not because they are wrong but because I value autonomy so highly. I wanted to do it, so I did. Every failure was a learning opportunity, not a punishment for disobeying so existential being. While I don't believe in God there is something in me that pulls me towards my purpose.
From a young age, I knew that I would be a career. No matter how much I was teased and bullied; I would go home, tear up newspaper and cry and then return to school with birthday presents or candy for the other kids. If I kept being nice and compassionate maybe they would stop and I could belong somewhere (Surprise! The bullying never stopped). Eventually, I learned to be more selective but would still end up caring for those who others would deem unworthy of my compassion. For whatever reason I am pulled towards certain people and often cause myself pain caring for them. Each person has been a lesson in how to better care for others while still caring for myself. It has taken a lot of failure and growth to get to this point and I am still growing in my self-care and resilience ( I always will be growing because life is 'a continuous work in progress and I wouldn't have it any other way'). I am happy to trust in the universe and be guided by the gravity of the start dust that composes my being.
The way we process and deal with our lows is a matter of our personalities. Are you Intrinsically or extrinsically motivated? Do you believe in God? Or something else? How do you process your lows?
Comments