"Nik we need all medics..." static cuts the clarity of the situation. I rise and make my way out of the rig.
"On my way. repeat message, over." There is no hesitation only urgency in the captain's response.
"We have a Cardiac Arrest."
Everything becomes clearly focused, swiftly following the sharpest details; a path to the other rig.
He is down, defibrillator leads attached and other medics are already performing chest compressions. I join them on our knees in the gravel, warriors fighting for someone else's life. His eyes have become gelatinous unseeing things. Even if we snatch him back from Death, his site will not be returned.
One...Two... Three...Four... Ten... fifteen... Thirty... My hand steadily squeezes the Bag value Mask twice delivering pure oxygen to unbreathing lungs. Combine with chest compressions, we pray his blood leeches to the oxygen and delivers it to vital organs.
"Analyzing Rhythm." We wait in still silence, "Shock advise."
"CLEAR!" We abandon our contact with his body long enough for shock to reset his heart. Immediately we rotate and begin compressions.
One...Two... Three...Four... Ten... fifteen... Thirty... Two more even breaths delivered from the BVM. We rotate as the ambulance and fire brigade arrives. There are too many hands, too many pieces but the compressions and breathing never stop. Death walk walks among us. He tugs at my braids and whispers in my ear, "Not this time little one." Reminding that I am not invincible. I can't save everyone.
Death's purple poison creeps through his capillaries, darkening his already dark skin. Flight medics arrive on scene, attach the AutoPulse but there is no load and go urgency. There are too many advance lifesavers on one body. I exit to leave them to their specialty, as something else is calling me. I can feel it tugging at my heart.
Her silky pink curls are streaked with tears of grief. She throws herself at stoic police trying to gain access to her partner.
"He can't be alone. He shouldn't be alone." Se wails but the police continue to look past her, a human wall without compassion. I pull her back from them.
"He is not alone. He is surrounded by a team that is giving him the best chance to come back from this. We need to stay out here so they have space to work. You'll be with him again soon." Hope and white lie become synonymous and taste life sulphur as they fall from my tongue. Shock seizes her, I only just catch her by the shirt and lower us slowly into the gravel. Her curls splay across my lap and her tears soak pants as she sobs into me. I collect her pieces and tuck them neatly into her purse. I will not allow her to lose any of herself while in my care. A single flight medic comes out, the word deceased on his lips. As he delivers the news to her she falls dead weight back into me; the sound uniquely belonging to that of someone who Death has robbed them of a lover.
"Do you want to be with him?" he offers like some sort of compromise.
"Yes! He shouldn't be alone." Shock is still clutching her and I am the crutches that carry her to her partner's lifeless body. Someone passes me a sheet that I haphazardly unfold on the gravel before she collapses yet again.
"Why is he so cold?" Her sob is small and meek, unlike her previous fighting wails.
"That's what happens when we die. Our bodies lose their heat because our blood and heart stop moving." He tears soak his chest. My explanation seems to have soothed her. More police arrive and ask the same questions. I begin to answer because I've heard her answer so many times before. She sobs for some time and seems settled in the dust.
"Do you want me to stay or would you like some privacy?"
"I need you to stay. I can't do this alone. Nobody is answering me." She begins to cry again. I take her phone and begin to scroll through her messages. No texts only missed video calls.
"It's too loud here. Your friends can't hear calls. They aren't ignoring you, they just don't realize there is something wrong. Is it ok if I message them for you?" She nods smearing her tears across her lover's chest. I am in the safe zone. X has passed away. Copy. Paste. Send. Paste. send. Paste. Send.
Her mother calls her back and she cries into the phone, " Mum why is this happening?" Her mother can't answer. She hands the phone to me, I reassure her mother that she is safe with me until they move his body. Her mother sounds like she is trying to be strong but I know she will break down as soon as she hangs up.
More police come to ask the same questions. I have become her interpreter, grief my second language.
"Why? Why did this have to happen to him?" Her sobs slowly increase to wails as another tidal wave of grief overtakes her.
"We can't ask why. Death is a secret the living are not allowed to know. We know he had medical conditions, this weather and all the excitement could have just exerted him too far."
"He can't leave me. This isn't fair." Her eyes are flooded with tears.
"He did not want to leave you. He did not have a choice. I know it is not fair. None of this is fair."
With one arm she clings to Death, drowning in grief. The other is clutching me and I feel as though I am the only thing keeping her head above the current. We sat like this for what felt like hours until the paramedics and I pried her from his body for transport and she was taken to the station.
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