I've been thinking a lot about how people express their love for each other. Many of my friends who are not American, find it weird how much I love and express my love towards my friends. I will openly tell the people I love how much love them but not in the Valley-girl-oh-my-god-I-like-love-you-guys-so-much way. Some of my friends pointed out how American (also influencer) culture throw the word 'love' around to the point it has lost its' meaning. When they hear me tell them it's different. I've been reflecting on the way I love, trying to better understand what makes it different.
There are 5 key love languages:
l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “
2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”
3. Acts of Service – Doing something for another person that you know they would like.
4. Quality time – By giving the other person your undivided attention.
5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, and cuddles.
(6. Memes - Kinda like gifts 😂)
I tried to pick just one to define my actions but realized that I am all of them. I am the friend who will build you up on your worst days and fuel your best days. When I see items that remind me of my friends, I buy it for them. So that every time they drink out that mug or wear that shirt they know that they are loved by me. I am the ultimate personal assistant, the friend that wants to help you go grocery shopping or move house. I want to be your extra pair of hands to make life easier. If I am not already doing something, will show up just to be in the same space as my friends. If they need a shoulder to cry on or just a yarn, my time is theirs. After being told how uncomfortable it made some people, I did have to turn down the kissing and hugging. Personal space is important and respecting boundaries of my friends who are in relationships is crucial to my friendships. That being said I have infinite cuddles and hugs to give.
I am the woman who has flown across a country and halfway around the world (multiple times) for the people I love. I realize that I never met anyone that loves like I do. Sometimes my love is too much and it pushes people away. All I can do is hope that my love leaves them better, sets a standard for how others allowed to treat them. That if the next person they meet doesn't show them love in one of these ways, then they are not worth the effort.
Love is like kindness. It can not be taught, it grows in us when we practice trying to love others. Love benefits both parties but love hurts. The things about love that hurt are when it is not reciprocated or when it leaves. These are not attributes of love but of the person you are loving. So don't be afraid of love. Let it grow in you, so that it spills out on all of the people around you. Let love leave you a better person than you were last week. Believe that you are worthy of receiving truly unconditional love.