Tonight is unusually bright. Moonlight seeps between our curtains, spilling across the furnishing of our room. I do not need the light of this late hour to reach you, for I know every detail of your face. Although age has altered your features, I know every freckle, wrinkle, and scar that mars your flesh. I remember how you got that gash in your brow at my 28th birthday party when you tried to clean up the broken beer bottles in the kitchen. My fear was that you would cut yourself on the shattered shards, but in your fuddled state you split your brow on the edge of the kitchen bench instead. Three stitches I’ll never forget. You laughed the whole way through it.
Your breaths have become weak but steady with sleep. Like all the times we sat together in peaceful silence in the garden. You could always nap easily with your head nestled into my neck. After dinner, we would spend the evenings swaying in silence to the synchrony of our hearts. Other days music played loudly and we dance the quickstep with two left feet. Laughter filled our home as the sound of our barrelling hearts came to their crescendo.
In this moment your heart sounds like it is walking away. Tonight is the farthest it has ever sounded. I remember when times were hard, the way you walked away from fights. Your footsteps echoed down the hall, thundered down the stairs and disappeared behind the slamming door. When you tried to sneak back into the crooked house we called home; every floorboard gave you away. Every time you crawled into bed your side was warm, waiting for your return. Although we were stubborn we never failed to apologize. Loving you was more important than being right.
Even now as time eases you from me, I can not forget any of us. Every day of our life you cared for me, protected me, loved me beyond doubt. I want to tell you all these things but I can feel you drifting away. For the first time, I do not have enough time. We could never have enough time.
My heart condenses to a whisper. “Thank you for giving me the best days of my life.” The last words you will ever hear. A weak sigh is your only reply.
One final step; your heart crosses the threshold. One final breath; a slamming door that will never open.
I will not grow bitter, as your body grows cold.
Time did not rob you from me. Although our life was far from easy; time was kind to us.