Reason 3

Have you ever seen anyone more proud? yeah, I didn't think so.

Their timing is often a bit off but I have never been stranded anywhere in the world without them being able to find a way to get to me. I am their only child and a girl and somehow they have managed cope with me taking off, gallivanting across the globe. I have never had to move alone.

"I don't know where you go this drive for school and travel, " my mom always questions my development because it is a complete mystery to us. We are so different and yet I am made of her. At 26 my mom is still one of the first people I call when my day has gone to shit. While sometimes I am still frustrated after talking to her, most days I feel better that someone heard me and still loves me regardless of how angry or frustrated I am in these moments. She wants more than anything to be my best friend but I will always see her as my mom.

Where to start with my dad?

Probably with his 51st birthday at Goathill. I was responsible for being his DD (Designated Driver) for the day. I remember the creepy looks and catcalls from the old drunk men as I walked in at 4 pm on a Sunday. More importantly the way their faces fell, when my dad pulled me into a hug and told all his new friends (and the entire bar) "This is my daughter!"

Yeah, that's right. Don't fuck with me because my dad is twice your size and will put you in the ground, sir.

I was sent on very expensive taco run, almost set-up with a 42-year-old friend my dad had made, and scolded by my mom and aunts because we were late to dinner. None of these things matter though because every 20 or so minutes of that afternoon was punctuated by my father loudly announcing "She is my greatest contribution to this world. You're welcome." After hearing that for several hours on end, I know my dad loves me more than any other man ever will.

He may not use those words but I can see it in our Daddy daughter days, those random trips to the wild animal park/zoo or lego land. How he would stick behind on hikes or at the campsite with me or how there was always a way for me to earn money to go out with friends, even when money tight.

These seem like small insignificant things, compared to all the fights we have had but these are the first things that come to mind when I think of my parents. Growing up, we had this dog named Sonja. She was my parent's tester child if you will. My parents loved her so much, she was my sister. By the time I was 15 she could barely walk and was losing her bowls in the house. I did not understand why they dragged it out until my dad came back from putting her to sleep. I know that I will never put my dad through that. As their daughter, it is my job to bury them and cry in their absence, not the other way around. They have been living for me and I will continue to keep making them proud.

That is why I keep living. Because I am loved. Because I love them too much to let them live a life without me.

#Love #Keepliving #Depression #Family #Parents